Tuesday, February 10, 2015

What should we make of Carolina Panthers player Greg Hardy's accuser?

What are we to make of the dismissal of the domestic violence charge against Carolina Panthers player Greg Hardy?

Some people seem to be doing less judging of Hardy than they are of his accuser, Nicole Holder. After all, they note, District Attorney Andrew Murray's office said Holder has made herself unavailable to prosecutors and has apparently reached a civil settlement with the football star. Social media postings show that she's been snowmobiling in Colorado and snapping photos in New York City as the case unfolded and prosecutors searched for her.

The internet commenters have rendered swift, and merciless, judgment on her.

"Next stop, Dancing with the Stars," one reader joked in the comments section of the Observer's online story.

"This is why domestic violence cases are so often questioned by the general public," said another. "She disgusts me."

Harsh. It seems fair to say she lost at least a few sympathy points with many people who followed the story of the case since it began last year. Charlotte's most popular cocktail party game at the moment probably starts with the question: "How much do you think she received?"

Unfortunate, yes. In Hollywood movies, victims come pure of heart and innocent of motive. But in real life, people are too complex, and their interactions to messy -- especially in relationships -- to fit the neat scenarios we fashion in our minds.

Which is not to say the most recent developments mean Holder wasn't telling the truth when she said Hardy attacked her last year. Unfortunately, a jury may never get to make a final judgment on that. But it would be even sadder if people used what little information they have on this case as justification for casting a jaundiced eye on other women's domestic violence cases.

Experts tell us many women in such cases fail to cooperate, even when there is no wealthy football star on the other end of the accusation. Sometimes it's the pressure of being on the witness stand, having the most unpleasant, intimate details of your life dissected by strangers. Or it can be as simple as fearing for your life. 

Regardless of what caused the Holder case to unravel, we should all at least try to reserve judgment, and refrain from snarky remarks. We don't have all the facts. What we do know is that 62 women
died in domestic violence-related homicides in North Carolina in 2013. And that is nothing to joke about.

--Eric Frazier


Kevin said...

Hardy was just the dumb fish. She was casting in that pond for a long time. She knew exactly what she was doing. Catching dummies and cashing the hush money check.

James Edgar said...

I hope this doesn't come across as flippant or dismissive of domestic violence; I just have a strong opinion on this particular case.

Let's look at what we do know. We know this lady dated Hardy, and she cheated on him with Nelly. We know she worked at a nightclub where celebrities tend to go. We know she was sky-high on cocaine the night of the alleged incident. We know she has been traveling across the country, essentially on a very long vacation.

This is enough to make some reasonable judgments. We know of 2 celebrities she has slept with, so it's not unreasonable to think there may be more. It's quite obvious this lady wants to be famous more than anything else. Her story bears striking resemblance to stories we have read in Sports Illustrated and other places about women whose main occupation is to get impregnated by pro athletes, so they can lay claim to tens of thousands of dollars a month in child support payments.

And what of the incident itself? Let's look at simple physics. These condos uptown are not constructed with bamboo and rubber. There's marble and porcalin everywhere. If Hardy picked her up and threw her into a tub, drug her out by her hair, and threw her on a pile of guns, a petite woman like Holder would have several broken bones an bruises that would be visible for weeks. (Example: when my wife falls 18 inches out of her wheelchair onto a carpeted floor, the bruises last well over a month.) And she shows up for the first trial looking like she just stepped off the set of America's Next Top Model. There is no physical way she could have been completely healed from all the injuries that would have resulted from being thrown into a porcalin tub and on top of a couch covered with guns.

What about the settlement? My guess is that Hardy's people told her people that since her entire case was, "she said he beat her up," with no physical evidence to prove it, they were going to have to expose her allegations as lies, and put her sex life on the front pages of papers everywhere, and offered her a few thousand dollars to spare her the humiliation that was certain to come her way.

The entire incident was a figment of her imagination. Nothing happened as she alleged.

And Scott Fowler is dead wrong. The Panthers should re-sign him yesterday. They desperately need Hardy on the field. And why can Hardy not be trusted? It's Holder who's been telling all the lies. Re-sign him, and let's forget about the Professional Celebrity Wanna-be Girlfriend.

David Smith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David Smith said...

I am the person who said, "This is why domestic violence cases are not taken seriously by the general public.". I meant to say domestic violence cases involving sports stars or stars in general are not taken seriously by the general public. Domestic violence is a very serious issue and many women, and men too, are hurt and mistreated during the course of relationships. However, when women like this call the police and file a charge against a star, they need to follow through and show up when the justice system needs them to. You should not be able to use this as a way to obtain a large financial gain and then say I do not want or need the system you used to protect yourself in the first place. I can only judge this woman from what I have read and seen about her and from this all I can say is she likes men with celebrity and knows how to use her sexuality to get rich. It hurts the cause of other women that are really hurt by non-wealthy men.

Fred Johnson said...

What kind of woman dates a guy that calls himself "The Kraken"? Not Debbie Boone for sure.

Post settlement, I bet Nicole does not feel like a victim. It is possible Hardy does, but he was stupid enough to start the whole thing and he was lucky he had enough money to buy his way out.

The whole thing makes you feel dirty-

Wilbur Williams said...

He's Kraken open that checkbook now.

panther14 said...

James Edgar...man are you delusional! You sound like a rambling cartoon writer.I heard in close circles that she was paid $50,000 to get lost for awhile. Also,the Panthers have ZERO interest in resigning Hardy. Goodall will suspend him for the first 2 games and fine him,and that will be that. Buffalo or Oakland awaits......book it!

Smith Nwesson said...

Shes obviously a young dumb gold digger or she got a bunch of money which either way doesn't say much about her. She, if he beat her up that bad she would have moved forward with the case. As James Edgar said she was in that circle forever, she got exactly what she wanted, money for banging a celebrity.

Dragon said...

What if she prosecutes him? It's a misdemeanor....he probably walks or sues the NFL for reinstatement. Like Ray Rice. We idolize oversized men who can beat the hell out of other men on a football field, then we are surprised when they are violent off of it. She gets her $40,000, dates Nelly and Hardy, he pays attorney Chris Fialko another $30,000. Everyone is happy. Meanwhile our school teachers make $45,000 a year and we wonder why our culture is insane?

Jim H said...

When you look like Nichole Holder, you don't need a real job.


She got paid. Greg Hardy's got a new contestant on the price is right.