NRA Favorite Things

Uptown welcomes some 70,000 visitors this week as the National Rifle Association convenes its 139th annual meeting at the Charlotte Convention Center. Those visitors will include Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck and Chuck Norris among other celebrities and politicians. We’re fresh out of trumpets for a welcoming fanfare, but we do have this delightful little ditty penned by Martin Settle, of UNC-Charlotte’s English Department. Sing along if you know the tune – and you do! It’s set to “My Favorite Things” from ‘Sound of Music.’

Pistol snub noses and shooting positions
Bright copper casings and carbines with pistons
Wood stocks of walnut with swivel stud rings
These are a few of our favorite things.

Pump action shotguns and toggle lock Lugers
The sound of a round as it seats in a Ruger
Wild geese that plummet when they’ve been winged
These are a few of our favorite things.

When the law’s tight
When the ammo’s low
When there’s gun control
We simply remember the second amendment
And then we can just reload.

Gun barrels that gleam with a stainless steel satin
Pistol grip diamonds and holsters of patent
Night vision scopes that turn everything green
These are a few of our favorite things.

Butt plates on shoulders, cheek pieces to nuzzle
Suppressors for flashes to thread on a muzzle
Tactical weapons with large magazines
These are a few of our favorite things.

When no street lights
When police cease
When we’re feeling sad
We simply find peace in our safety release
And then we don’t feel so bad.