We're sure at least one group of election watchers held out hope for a Newt Gingrich resurgence Tuesday in the
After all, who would want such a prolific supplier of fine subject matter to walk away?
The former House speaker obliged our thirst for material again last week by extolling the virtues of natural gas to
But Newt Gingrich…and natural gas?Though it may cause a stink,Thanks Observer (wink wink),This gift is just too good to pass.
Filmed a gas rig for Obama to see.Some folks say it’s all showBut it seems aproposThat Newt favors his gas naturally.
So for hipness, he did something galling:His “Legalize pot!”Is now smokin’ hotAnd part of his new “higher calling.”
Under bridges, in woods – by the score.No tongue can reciteTheir relief and delightTo learn, after all, they’re not poor.
And they are quite a talented bunch.It’s OK, don’t you know,We’re professionals, so,Multitasking’s no problem for ...CRUNCH!
Here comes the coughing and wheezing.Inhale the Flonase,Walk around in a daze.Achoo! I wish it was still freezing.
Of ideas to solve disrepair.To save money restoringHe’d redo the Club’s flooringWith cheap rugs, or as Trump calls ‘em, hair.
To hubris, this guy is no stranger.I read yesterday,In his thick resume,For “Place of Birth” it says “a manger.”
Romney’s family pet dog was exposedKen Burrows, Charlotte
In that car rooftop crate, locked and closed.
If Mitt does gets elected
Then I guess it’s expected,
Just like Seamus, we’re about to get hosed…
You're not poor in NC, the pols. say,Tommy Forney, on those ubiquitous ED commercials
If you're getting $2 a day.
After all, grits and beans
And fatback and greens
Are more wholesome than steak or souffle.
If for loving you don't need cold showers
Take a pill, not just silly old flowers
There's no reason to grieve,
Those ads have you believe
And you'll be fine for three point five hours.
Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney would love all this over:Constance Kolpitcke
Nomination sewn up, in like clover,
All primed for a fight
To be Prez with the right
To ride Limo One topped with Rover.
Fast food chains to their credit did declare
No more pink slime in their fare.
But the USDAA approves serving the stuff
In school lunch programs, sure 'nuff.
Let parents and students beware!
The CMS wireless conception
Has gotten an ice-cold reception
From some folks on the right
Who think iPads just might
Be some kind of new contraception.
John Long, Stanley
My Lake Norman home value's week,
So now reassessment I seek.
My house, like an otter,
Has gone underwater
My current address? Up a creek.
Pat Looper, Morganton, on Curt Walton
Bill McGloughlin, Charlotte
Ballantyne thinks that Charlotte's a bore.Joel Zauss, of Charlotte:
Independence, they'd like to explore.
If you're thinking secession,
Show a little discretion.
Ask a native. We've tried this before.
To keep ladies’ rights tightly confined.War on women is wagedAnd the girls are enragedNow “goodbye” he can kiss his behind.
Taylor Batten is back in charge next week. Send entries to him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Deadline: Noon Monday for Wednesday publication.